Things I wish I could write on my CV

… but are probably preventing me from getting work experience.

I have a lot of legitimate, if slightly un-interesting, hobbies (i.e. reading about graphic design and magazine production, scrapbooking, and collecting pins). I also have a lot of things I like to do that I consider myself fairly good at, but which are probably not going to help me out in any way in the job market. I’m going to take a risk and post them here in hopes that any industry professionals who read this blog won’t take them too much to heart.  I don’t think there are any publishing industry professionals on this blog, but then, you never know! If there are, hello, and please read my actual CV located here.

Anyway, now I will present to you… experience and skills I wish I could list on my CV… 

Professional Triple Town Player (5 Months experience).
– Skills in city planning, grizzly bear removal, turning 3 small items into 1 bigger item and opening treasure chests.

Professional Cityville Player (2 Years Experience). 
– Skills in construction and building-sites, collecting items. Very social, always visiting neighbors.

Chef (My Kitchen, 3 Years Experience) 
– Excels in cooking pasta and sauce.
– Special skills: adding Italian seasoning to everything.

Film and Television Watcher (22 years experience)
– Particularly fond of science fiction, but will watch almost anything.
– Terrified of Paranormal Activity.
– First film watched: The Little Mermaid.
– Some actual university studies involved in this.

Patron of pubs and restaurants in Oxford (6 months experience)
– Several weekends of experience in locating good places to eat and have a nice pint with friends.
– Recommendations (for restaurants) available on request.

To be honest, I could probably think of more excellent skills to list here (such as “Professional Drawer of Doodles” and “Writer of Un-finishable To-Do Lists”), but I think the aforementioned skills really speak for themselves. Clearly, I am an interesting person with a variety of hobbies and interests that would certainly add diversity to any work place that will take me. I’m hardworking, a self-starter, and… ujgiq.

Oh, sorry, triteness always puts me straight to sleep.

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed my imaginary CV. Almost time to go back to the kitchen and make sure my pasta cooking skills are keeping up with industry standards.


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